I’ve been asking this question to myself lately. Why we act like individuals and think of our own benefits all the time? Everything you see is well (or may be not so well) structured organization. The universe itself is one. Life would be totally different if radius of earth’s orbit around the Sun differ by few inches, that’s ‘how well’ it is structured and your life depends on it.
This article is somewhat related to a post of friend of mine.
What we do?
On one’s success
In our typical Indian Society, there is a tradition of keeping eyes on others’ progress/digress. People don’t appreciate ‘heartily’ when you have achieved something great or when you are doing something unique. They don’t see this ‘achievement’ from the perspective of the guy(s) who tried and succeeded or at least trying day & night; they will compare it to something bigger (there’ll be something bigger always) and will discourage you. Can’t you people just digest someone’s happiness or passion for a minute?
On one’s failure
In contrast to interest in someone’s achievement they really are eager to poke you after you get fail. People fail, people succeed; what the **** is big deal in it? We call a person who got failed in his/her exam, we call a person who got rejected from an interview, we call a person who is not married after crossing 26 years of age, we call a person who is not getting job after graduation and… we try to make them speak about the same even if we already knew. How the hell is it going to help in his/her life? At the very first, with your sudden call after the fall will they be feeling good to talk to you about the same? It feels just like you are getting pinched and tortured (and that too when you are feeling weak and exhausted from recent failure).
Why we do it?
Lack of feeling of connection.
We got tank full of sympathy. But that is not going to help every time when someone is going through tough times. Sympathy just make people more weak. Don’t seek it or spread it.
The reason why people sympathize is that they are not feeling connected to yourself. People will say ‘Son, it happens!’. I am not talking about parents, they can’t even think of letting you hurt with their emotions or intentions. I am talking about our so called society, who just think for itself. ‘Mere ko kya lena isme!‘ or ‘Muhje kya!‘ these kind of words hurt me the most. Would you like to hear these words when you are in the same situation?
If you are in touch with someone then that someone is connected to your life (directly or indirectly) and everything attached to you molds your life, it makes you what you are today. So if someone you know got fail then some part of your life gets fail. If you help him/her succeed, part of your life will succeed.
For weird self-satisfaction
Other than lack of feeling of connectedness, some people do it just to satisfy themselves that they are better than those who got failed or by making them hurt intentionally. That may be funny for you but it’s totally a torture to the other ones.
If you want to get satisfied internally, go help someone, hold one’s hand, kiss one’s forehead and encourage him/her to stand up and try one more time. And believe me that guy will not forget you for rest of his/her life. Which’s better? Which’s bigger? Which’s more self-satisfactory? Silently enjoying someone else’s failure or publicly helping them get succeed?
Don’t just sympathize, encourage!
Let’s come to the point
Can’t we work as a team?
I am not asking this question to a group of sport people, not to a few who are working on a project. This is a question to all of those who live in this society, my family, my cast, my friends, my city, my state and my country .
Team doesn’t consist of same kind of people, so do our society. Team work with the help of each other with proper formation and assignments of tasks and so do our city. Team work for same cause, to achieve a common goal and so do our state. Team work to pull everybody on the team up, to help them grow personally and so do our country.
So why can’t we think all of us as a team? I am a good (at least I think so) designer, developer, brainstormer and a helper. I know my role in this team. I am ready to help (and already helping) anyone with what I know and with what I can. It’s your turn to think of what you can contribute to this team.
Try not to see anyone’s failure as defeat, it’s not a full stop; just a comma; just an ephemeral halt. And when they need your motivation the most, don’t just say ‘it happens’. People already know that IT happens. What they really want to know or want you to tell them is how to give better shot the next time and how could you help the next time? It’s not the end. Every try, every shot makes the next one a lot better. If you don’t have anything to give, don’t just give them your pity. They are brave and will wave the flag of success someday, and it’d be great if you would be the reason behind their victory.
Build trust in people like we trust our ‘literal’ teammates. Our nation needs it the most. Give a lift to people if you are riding alone in your car/bike. Anonymously try to get birthdates of people matters to you or for whom you matters the most, your watchman, your servant, your driver; and shine their days up on that special occasion. Buy some books to a child working at tea stall who wants to learn but can’t afford. All of us are part of a great team, India. If someone is good at something that he/she loves, help them be the best and our team will get stronger.
Let’s buckle up and start growing collectively. Let’s be the team, not only society.
I will end my
article message with few quotes from great personalities.
Team won’t have progress until teammates work positively. You have to minimize negative things to see the real beauty of teamwork.
Just getting interested won’t do the work, you have to commit yourself.
If you think I can help you in anyway, you can contact me on my email : me [a] preraktrivedi [.] com. Would love to help you succeed, even if I am not. 🙂