These are the things which I’ve been observing and I have adapted myself accordingly (well, still trying but yes I am quite successful in it). Don’t interpret anything as ‘negative’ as I want you to go through from my perspective just for a moment. Everything is how it is supposed to be.
No one fucking care about anyone, including you
Stop worrying about what people will say, they don’t give a shit, and so you should not too. Do they put food on your table everyday? Do they pay your bills? No. No one does but you or your parents/guardian. Others are just busy with their own set of problems and issues and so do you.
They are not thinking as much about you as you think about them thinking about you.
What really matters is what you think and what you want to do. But yes, don’t expect someone to think in the same way you do. Protect your self-esteem without hurting anyone else’s. If someone refuses to believe in what you believe, move on. Don’t try to convince people. If your belief has a stand you will find your way. Do it because you love it, not because you have to show it off or to prove to people. Remember they don’t give a damn about what you do unless their lives are concerned/affected by it.
It’s your life, no one else own it and can steer it for you
We blame our teachers, schools (I admit that I have been doing it), professors, college for knowledge we don’t have. First rule, they (schools, colleges etc) don’t give a damn to what you did while being there. You can’t have progress if you don’t stop cursing your bad experiences of the past and unless you start doing something today that will make your tomorrow even better.
Build yourself the way that you don’t need/seek anyone’s help until unless necessary. People would love to offer their help by knowing how far you have come on your own and that gives strength to both the parties. If there is a problem, there’d be a solution. If there isn’t any solution, there’d be a way to bypass the problem. But just looking at problem crying won’t pop out yourself out of it. You have to kick it out of your way.
Everyone has their own lives, as you do
You are not them and they are not you. So stop crying if people won’t do what you want them to do. They have their own life. Respect it and get out of their way. They have all the right to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to your request at anytime. Respect their rights. Don’t judge people by that. Don’t try to bound them. Let them be free and let yourself be free, it’s good for both.
Your companions will change throughout your life and that’s a good thing. You can’t learn/grow by being with same fellows all the time. After all there is limited knowledge one can share with another. Keep refreshing people in your circle regularly to grow yourself. And help as many people as you can who come across your path because they wont stay there for long and you have very little time to giveaway/forward your knowledge/experience to them. If you are doing something good for someone, it’ll come back eventually, not necessarily from the same person but from somewhere via some other sources (because nature loves to be in a balance).
Live as you are all on your own, alone.
Don’t take it in a negative/depressive tone or in a ‘relationship-status’ way :D. It is in a sense that you can’t mix up your soul with another person. All the people who are with you today at this moment will not be with you may be next hour or next day or next month or next year. Everyone will be replaced/changed but yourself. It is unnerving to think but will give immense amount of strength if you start accepting it.
If someone (or someone special) is living your company, your life won’t stop though it may have to halt for a moment. And same for that someone, he/she won’t die without you. So take up your own responsibility, people for whom you matter will come whenever you need them and stay but you cannot count on them only. You are and will be the one-man-army.
There is always an intention behind any action (of yours and others)
You don’t do something just for someone else. There’s always a reason. Nobody will help you without any intention and so do you. If you are putting efforts into someone else’s life then you must be expecting something back. If you are doing social work which gives you ‘inner joy’, though it’s a noble activity but you are doing it for yourself to feel happy within. But it’s good because these kind of intentions don’t harm anyone. Whatsoever there’ll be always an intention behind someone’s action because without intentions life would be boring and we hate that kind of life, don’t we? Even ‘Yogis’ and ‘Rishis’ meditate with the intention of being enlightened.
Remember when someone do you a favor, he/she expects something back if not immediately then later, but that ‘favor’ should be returned with the same amount (nature loves the balance, remember?). So take care while asking someone for the help, that’s why I said ‘ask when you truly need them after trying every possible ways to solve the issue, because somewhere in the future you have to give that favor back or it will be fetched without your knowledge. If you practice you won’t be having any problem helping people just to make them happy and thus yourself happy. You do a favor by making them happy and if that makes you happy, tada, balanced! Isn’t the happiness, which is merely a perception of mind, a best thing in the world to live with?
Weird definitions of Success made up by our society
People interpret success in many forms like
- Getting lots of (or enough) money in the bank (Vadra is having it, does that count as success?),
- Getting placed in MNCs (Few of the great MNCs which are founded by ‘dropouts’?). Being a millionaire/billionaire = Success?
- Having a girlfriend/boyfriend (At teen age, spending hard earned money of your parents after a person with whom you have been since few weeks and are dreaming/planning to spend your life? Seriously guys? Without making a single penny on your own? Without being capable enough to take up the responsibilities of the other person’s life?). Trying to be immature adult = Success?
- Getting married/settled at predefined age (which could make the life of the couple worst? marriage just for the sake of marriage, huh. What kind of norm is that?). Hurriedly married = Success?
- Being famous and well known (first of all, you can’t get enough fame that every people you meet will recognize you, Who didn’t know Sachin? Hmmm.. Oh yes, Sharapova. How the fuck you could think people will notice you just like that? Without even making your story interesting. Btw people also knew Osama, he was also famous (negatively) and was on many tongues across the world) Being so famous that people start asking you for your autograph/selfish etc = Success?
It doesn’t matter to me (and most of the people whose lives don’t have concern with) that how many bucks you have in your back account, how much popular you are, how pretty your girlfriend/wife is, what MNCs you work for, how much cars/gadgets you own, how big your house is or anything that is materialistic (that doesn’t touch lives to make them better) you brag about.
For me it’s your gratitude, humbleness, how you help people just to see them happy, make their lives easier, how you have contained yourself with whatever you have, how big your heart is that you’ll share half of a bread if it’s the only thing you have. It’s the belief you build that purpose of your life is to help others.
The main point
Why to set goals for ephemeral and materialistic things when life in itself is unpredictable and ephemeral? Think beyond your life, your existence. There is no purpose of your life if people can’t use it to get strength/support when they face tough time, during your life and till long after you will be gone. Make sure you leave something behind for future generations to look up to and get strength. Stop wasting time, do something that ‘enrich’ (not entertain) your life and most especially of those around you.
Rich people die immediately because they didn’t invent money and it (every single penny) will get detach from their lives at the time of death, while great people live forever because they will exist in form of their beliefs and thoughts which they have seeded deep into the roots of society, problem is these seeds take time to grow but we don’t have enough patience to see the amazing results.
Your life should work as propellor for many lives, it should help pilot moving forward in whatever direction he chooses as you cannot steer any lives but yours. But you can share some of your experiences with setting up the sail, surviving through the storms and using the wild winds carefully.
A final question
Tell me frankly, what face/expression comes to your mind when referring to a successful guy? I bet, that would be happy, contained, relaxed, dedicated, hard-working. Do you see it now? Let me know what you got, in the comments. It is other way around. 😉